Head Games

After we ran the Snake Chase, I was so incredibly motivated and excited to run. At some point it changed and my last two runs have been two of the worst runs I've experienced. It comes down to something so simple, yet so complicated. It's what's going on inside of my head.

I like to think of myself as a positive person. I believe your attitude shapes your behavior and life is just easier when you tend to look up. That's not to say that I don't have moments where I'm less than optimistic because I definitely have those moments (even those days). More than ever, it's come into my running.

During my last two runs, I've started to feel absolutely overwhelmed. I'm mainly overwhelmed at the challenge ahead. In the last week, I've had more than a few moments where I've wanted to throw in the towel. I've discovered that I'm looking at the big picture instead of breaking it down into small steps (figuratively and literally).

The last two runs have started out the same. Before getting to the starting point, I'm excited and ready. As we run, I have difficulty falling into my rhythm. Instead, I tend to focus on the fact that the next mile marker seems to be so very long away. Then, I think, "If it's hard now, it's going to be even harder running this same course back." As much as I try (trust me, I'm doing everything I can), I just can't seem to shift my thoughts. Yet, I know I have to figure this out because it is impacting my running.

I so strongly believe that you have to do the things that scare you the most because that is precisely what will bring you the best experiences. More than ever, I really hope that is true.

Team Snake Chasers

The morning started out like no other. We usually don't have "bad mornings" but today we did and it was bad ... really bad. It didn't help that as last night progressed, my apprehension and fear increased, so I woke up this morning on approximately 4 hours of sleep. As the snow started to fall and accumulate, I worried that I wouldn't be able to run in the snow. The cold didn't worry me, but the snow definitely did. I was hoping that I would wake up feeling 100% confident, but that was not the case.

Then, as we were getting ready, Jasper had an accident. This is the dog that never has an accident in the house, but he did today, and it was exactly when we should have been warming up the car. Not to mention, Adam couldn't find his thermal underwear. When he couldn't find them, he looked at me and said, "I know you did something with them. You said just the other day you put my clothes away." I looked at him like, "And that will be the last time I put your clothes away." There was no need to respond. In moments like that, he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Miraculously, he found what he was looking for ... underneath the bed (I can guarantee that I do not put anything under the bed). Then, as he was cleaning off the 2 inches of snow from the car, the windshield wiper broke. Yep, it came right off. It happened when the entire car was clear. Great timing! So, we decided to take his car, which, of course, was out of gas. Light on. Arrow on "E." After we stopped to get gas and as Adam was getting back into the car, I said, "Where is your debit card?" His response, "I have no idea." After searching, he found it next to his seat. Just as we were driving away, I said, "I'm just glad I have my health insurance card on me. With a morning like we've had, I think I'm going to need it."

As we entered North Kansas City, I started to feel more confident that I could run the race in it's entirety. Sure, the temperatures were freezing, but the roads were basically clear. Almost immediately as we entered the building, my complete enthusiasm returned and I was ready to go (a.k.a. ready for the race to be over). Our friend, Curtis, met up with us and it felt great to have someone we knew there. This was his 5th race, so he provided great insight into what to expect. I highly recommend running your first race with someone who has done it
before. The start line was the last time we saw Curtis until the end. That boy can run (he makes it look easy).

As the race started, it felt great. It's exactly how you would imagine it. There's a large group of people running ... a very diverse group of individuals. Some young children, some young adults, some older adults, and some very much older adults. Every athletic ability was represented. However, most of them appeared to be hard core runners (identified as they ran the course a 2nd time). As we were running, I was surprised at how easily I fell into a rhythm. At about mile maker 1, I became so hot and had to take off my gloves and hat. Sure, I couldn't feel my legs, but I was sweating. Funny how the body operates.

Volunteers were stationed along the route to cheer us along (I can not express enough how wonderful that was - I'm even thinking about hiring a few to plant along the trails as I'm training). They shout out, "You're doing great!" "You're almost there" (which, by the way, was a lie). They give you water (I drank mine as I ran and more ended up on my face than it did in my mouth) and they encourage you to throw your cup on the ground (she said they would pick it up later, which went against everything that felt right, but it was so much fun to drink your water, then throw it off to the side. It was my first "real athlete" moment). They gave us our time at the 2 mile mark (somewhere around 22 minutes) and steered us in the right direction. The volunteers make the run so much easier. As we were running along, we passed Curtis and Erica's house. Erica was outside shoveling, cheering on the runners, and snapped a picture of us as we ran past (will add to blog once I get it).

Finally, as we turned the corner, I could see the "finish" line. For me, that is when it became the hardest. It's like you are so close, yet so far away (because you can't actually read the sign, you can only see it). In that moment, I did what Andrea taught me. I found an object, focused on it, ran to it, then found the next one. Before I knew it, I could read the sign. Moments later, I ran past the finish line (very disappointed that I didn't get to feel the ribbon tear against my chest - assuming that means I wasn't first). Did I mention that Celine Dion was playing as I ran across the line? I always imagined crossing the finish line, I just never envisioned that Celine would be singing as I did it. Add that to one of my "interesting life moments."

Adam was the greatest cheerleader and co-runner I could have asked for. He encouraged me every step of the way. Although I wasn't able to respond (I just don't have enough breath for running and talking), it meant more to me that I can even begin to express. The run would not have been what it was had it not been for him. When I looked over and saw his smile, it was one of the highlights of the run.

We did it. We ran our first 3.1 miles without stopping and at 33:10.

When the race is over, you honestly feel like you can accomplish anything (notice my pale skin color after the race - good news is that I didn't need my health insurance card after all).

Twas the night before the run

Well, tomorrow is the day ... our first 5K.

The weather forecast shows that we are expecting 6-8 inches of snow for tomorrow. Running 3.1 miles while it's snowing will definitely be an adventure. This has fun written all over it (as long as I don't slip and break a leg).

The feelings I'm experiencing are much like what I've experienced when I've done other things for the first time (going to college, starting my first job, meeting Adam's family) ...I have absolutely no idea what to expect, and I'm just filled with such excitement and anticipation. I simply can't wait.

It's only 3.1 miles, but it's the beginning of many more races to come.

Never thought I would do this

This past week, I flew to Texas to visit my childhood friend Andrea. She's marrying one of the greatest guys this July and I'm a bridesmaid in their wedding. To say that I had an incredible time would be an understatement. While there, we went bridesmaid dress shopping (found a great one), tasted some of the most delicious wedding cake flavors (I fell in love the champagne cake), got a mini makeover at Bare Essentials (makeup finally looks good again), saw the church and reception hall (two of the most beautiful places), assembled wedding invitations (and we're still friends), and we went running. Never, in a million years, did I think that I would run two miles in Texas and especially never with Andrea. Andrea has been active her entire life. She's in phenomenal shape and I just never thought I'd be in a position where I could run with her.

Without a doubt, I continue to discover all of the amazing ways running brings significant moments to your life. For me, running next to Andrea (and behind Barron on his bike) was one of those.

The hours leading up to the run were interesting. We had been in the car, driving from one wedding bakery to the next. I had used my phone to check-in for my flight while Andrea was driving. With all of the cake I had consumed (I take my bridesmaid responsibilities very seriously), I started to get nauseous ... very, very nauseous. Once we got back home, Andrea's mom gave me a little white pill (Dramamine) to make me feel better. Without even asking about the side effects, I swallowed it. At that point, I would have done anything to make the nausea subside. Well, I didn't realize that it caused drowsiness. I became so incredibly tired (we tried dancing to Tone Loc but it didn't provide the energy that any Tone Loc song obviously provides), and I just became a bit loopy (my body is not use to over the counter medications - I'm afraid I'll become addicted and end up on "Intervention" but that is a story for another time). I knew we had to get in our run since I have my first 5K on Saturday, but was becoming afraid that it just wasn't going to happen. Once we got back home, Andrea encouraged me to put on my running clothes and to see how I felt after 10 minutes into the run. I'm just so grateful because it really was one of my best runs yet in the most gorgeous weather (ran each mile in a little over 11 minutes).

As soon as we started running, Andrea made me laugh. I knew I was in for a challenge. As much as I love to laugh, I don't remember ever combining it with running. So, as we ran, we laughed and we talked. Andrea provided tips that she finds helpful when she's running: When the right side of my stomach started to hurt, she explained that it was a "stitch" and the best thing to do was just "push" through it. She explained that Adam should run along the outside of the sidewalk closest to the road to keep me safe (she did it while we were running), breathing to a rhythm helps when the run becomes harder (count to 4 as you breathe in), run from your heel to your toes, especially when the run becomes harder, and to find a stationary object to focus on. The last piece of advice changed my running perspective. I had been looking primarily at the ground, and once she offered that "pearl" of advice, it helped tremendously. I found a target, ran to it, and then found a new one. It made finishing the run feel possible.

That's become the greatest part of running. I'm gaining new experiences that are changing my perspective and appreciation for something I never imagined I'd do. To think, all I needed was a pair of shoes.

The Best Part of My Day

Three months ago I never would of thought that it would be possible that the best part of my day would be on a run. Tonight, at the beginning (and I stress beginning), of my run I was jogging down 54th Terrace when I passed a woman sitting on her porch. She was reading a book and smoking a cigarette. Once I banished my initial thought of how good the smoke smelled I realized that I would much rather be jogging on a beautiful late winter day than sitting on a porch drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette. True, she was not actually drinking a beer, but from now on in my memory she will be. The best part of my day was jogging by that woman and feeling fantastic about my life. About 30 seconds later I hit the first hill of my run and everything changed, but I choose not to focus on that.

Normally the best part of my day is walking in the front door and into the arms of my beautiful wife. Now before you think I have gone all soft, really what does she have to compete with: work, school, homework, the dogs. She wins hands down as you would expect. However, Marena is spending the week in Texas which has given me the opportunity to hijack her web log. Her very noticeable absence this week has given other moments the chance to become the highlight of my day. Like yesterday the highlight of my day was Shell's & Cheese and applesauce. Which is far more a predictable highlight than a moment on a jog.

The point is it has only been two days and I miss my wife. I am so much happier now than I have ever been in my life and it is all because of her. She is the most amazing person in the world and I hope she realizes just how much I love her. It is almost ridiculous how much my life has changed for the better in the last three years. From sitting on my porch smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer in NKC to jogging by a woman in Johnson county, of all places, during a study break.

Okay so maybe I have gone a little soft inside. Even so, I will argue that an honest post (such as this one) more than makes up for no gift on valentines day. I mean really what is valentines day other than an excuse to treat someone crappy for the other 364 days of the year. But I digress.

I apologize for the choppiness and lack of direction of this blog. It will be returned to Marena's capable hands from now on because, lets face it, this would only be cute once anyway. And no I do not think it makes me a hypocrite that I am drinking a beer as I type this. A camel light would make me a hypocrite, but not a beer.

Now, that's what I call inspirational

Now that I'm a runner (I've come to terms with it, so you might as well too), I love to read other people's blogs about running. While doing my "research," I came across one of the most incredible running stories yet. There's a guy named Patrick McGlade who is running across the country (more than 2500 miles - yes, you read that correctly - 2500 miles) to raise awareness and money for Arthritis.

His story is absolutely incredible and extremely inspirational. I'm just amazed that he runs a marathon a day. I still can't believe it. There's someone out there running a marathon a day to benefit others. People never cease to amaze me. I'm training 9 months for a marathon and he does it daily.

His goal is to raise $50,000 and he's currently raised a little over $13,000. Here's a link if you're interested in learning more. If you're able, there are a variety of ways you can help his cause. You can donate directly to support his cause for Arthritis, you can host him in your home (even backyard), or you can pay for a night in a hotel (maybe cash in some of your credit card points).

If you're interested in reading his blog, you can check it out here.

It's a story that makes you smile. We all need more of those.

My Reward

I have a few sick obsessions. For one, I love to clean. I think a clean kitchen is one of the most beautiful sights to be seen. I love walking into the house right after I've cleaned it. It just brings an automatic smile to my face. Yes, I am aware of how pathetic that is, but I just can't help it. Cleaning brings me pure delight.

Granted, since I've been with Adam, I really have learned that there are so many more important things to do and focus on besides cleaning. However, if someone gave me a sponge and cleaning supplies, I'd be one happy girl. As I was running the other day (when I completed my very own personal best and ran for 46 consecutive minutes), I decided that when I complete the marathon, I'm going to reward myself with something I've been dreaming of ... a Dyson vacuum. I've had my eye on this beautiful piece of machinery for quite a while, but just haven't been able to justify spending that much on a vacuum. Quite frankly, the budget does not allow for such an indulgence.

As I ran, I had an epiphany ... if I'm taking my legs from a decorative fixture into a viable form of transportation, then I can buy the Dyson DC25 Animal (they had me when they described the maneuverability). It gives me something to work for. I've decided that for each mile I run (training and races), then I'll reward myself with a dollar. By the time the marathon comes around, I'll have enough to buy the Dyson (that is, if I purchase it while it's on sale).

Now, when I'm running, I can imagine chasing the Dyson. I know ... these thoughts are sick, but they bring me so much joy and happiness and so much closer to the marathon's finish line. We all work for something!